Save A Life

(A poem written May 11, 2012. Not a particularly good one, but an important message nonetheless.)

Somewhere in between
the fight and the serene,
there's space left unseen
where one wishes they could not be.
Where one hopes for the end
of wounds no one can mend
and relief no one can lend.
To the nothing they long to friend.
They want no pious verse
or holy words rehearsed,
just the end of that which hurts,
before it gets worse.
See, their minds don't reason so:
"Tis thoughts that come and go."
No, the abyss they do take hold,
and submit to its control.
And in this state they die,
a little at a time.
What's more it does feel nice
to the demons trapped inside.
They show this death to none
in fear of burdening some.
They keep it hidden from
the smiles they force to front.
And yet what they do need,
in spite of the death they cling,
is to really be freed,
is to really be seen.
For their hand to be held tight,
to survive the endless night.
To be told that it's alright -
they're not alone in the fight.
They need the ones who know,
the sides of self they close,
to forgive the paths they chose
and help them fight the foes.
Sometimes they must be dragged
away from sorrow's grasp.
They may be drowning fast.
They may choke and gasp.
Give them a day worth living.
Be a friend worth loving.
From them, demand nothing.
Just give them something.
Oftentimes they want
nothing more than  your heart,
just to know they are a part
of your thoughts.
So please do take the time
to occasionally remind
that you are never far behind.
Be easy to find.
And maybe one night
your random call will fight
the darkness they hold so tight.
You might just save a life.

One Case

(A poem written January 17, 2012. Admitting a harmful habit is hard to do.)

One case
thirteen on the card
twelve and some cardboard
sacred red star
three days
need to buy more
five minute walk to the nearest corner store
sweet sip
joy by the mouthful
drown out all the loneliness
four and I'm feeling good
family jokes
"functional addict"
say that shit again, nigga,
promise you I've had it
twist top
one fluid motion
third DVD tonight
laughter is a potion
click, click
dating site app
heart hurts, mind figures
she didn't write back
another swig
hardly feel a thing
shit must be watered down
finish it quick
hate work
haven't loved in years
given up crying
drink all my tears
last one
cardboard in the trash
one long sigh to sleep
hoping it's the last.

Fade to Way

(Written July 8, 2009. The various facets of myself are constantly competing, and I quite often begin walking a distinct path only to get distracted and crossover onto another. Sometimes I need a reminder that, ultimately, what I'm searching for is so easily realized when I let go and let the path unfold before me.)

My way is wary,
curving, winding,
never finding end.
Never good timing.
No remembrance of beginning,
no surrender to giving in.
No recognition of the win.

I pretend like it doesn't matter
that my way is tormented
by pitter patter
of the rain.
My way is hardly sane.
It avoids and denies change
yet it changes all the same.

My way fades away
when mind finally rests
and puts silence to the test.
And then I'm at my best.
I ask the quest about the mark
of a true skeptic, of a sage,
and it answered only with gravel
unpaved, showing the way.

I fade away when I fade to way.
I shape thoughts by sounds of day.
I pray darkness never finds light
because I find acceptance the only way.
I fade to way when my mind stays
comfortable with how things may
so easily drift away.
To find self, I fade to way.

Life in Mind

(Written Saturday, December 5, 2009. Sometimes I feel there's a veil that hides the truth permeating society, and all of its rules and traditions discourage us from seeing through it.)

Life in mind
traveling with no traffic signs
no watch tells time
for a while don't mind
be sweet, be kind
hold the door for the one behind
and in time you'll find
enough

obey these rules
pay no attention to thieves and fools
study hard, finish school
laugh in the face of cruel

if ever it comes from behind
and sets ink to our lines
if ever we look inside
though bruised and shattered, shine
if ever wisdom meets common sense
and clears up such subtle pretense
then maybe living we won't mind
maybe we'll find life in mind

O, My Mind

(Written Friday, April 16, 2010. Oftentimes it seems the most important and fundamental task in life is the most difficult.)

O, my mind,
open to me.
Sometimes I don't even know you,
there's so much I cannot see.
Each moment is mystery,
sacred fear I trust.
But within unknown truths,
to know you is a must.

O, my mind,
what is it you really want?
I'm back and forth along this course,
past decisions haunt.
So often unwise,
so foolish and young.
Yet within such short years,
time can seem so long.

O, my mind,
this moment much reveals;
can patience ease uncertainty?
Does honesty heal?
In some ways I know the answers,
in others, forever blind.
I guess I'll forge ahead this path,
and leave them all behind.