All the Way to You

(Written Sunday, August 2, 2009. For all of us who know what longing feels like.)

One of these days I will see you.
Not find you,
for you were already here.
Not meet you,
because I've known you all my life.
I will feel you,
wrapped inside the night.

We will not meet half way;
I will come all the way to you,
you will come all the way to me.
Seeing what I have felt all this time
is what it means to be free.
Being what I have sought for so long
is to finally embrace this life.

I do not know how you look,
for I have not yet defined you.
No expectations,
no preconceptions,
no disappointment when the moment arrives.

And our love will not be defined in time.
Forever is the trap of mind.
When we both lie in the present,
we embrace eternity without trying.

I will not stop at your eyes,
I will not marvel at your mind.
I will come all the way to you
and rest inside.

Life in Mind

(Written Saturday, December 5, 2009. Sometimes I feel there's a veil that hides the truth permeating society, and all of its rules and traditions discourage us from seeing through it.)

Life in mind
traveling with no traffic signs
no watch tells time
for a while don't mind
be sweet, be kind
hold the door for the one behind
and in time you'll find
enough

obey these rules
pay no attention to thieves and fools
study hard, finish school
laugh in the face of cruel

if ever it comes from behind
and sets ink to our lines
if ever we look inside
though bruised and shattered, shine
if ever wisdom meets common sense
and clears up such subtle pretense
then maybe living we won't mind
maybe we'll find life in mind

O, My Mind

(Written Friday, April 16, 2010. Oftentimes it seems the most important and fundamental task in life is the most difficult.)

O, my mind,
open to me.
Sometimes I don't even know you,
there's so much I cannot see.
Each moment is mystery,
sacred fear I trust.
But within unknown truths,
to know you is a must.

O, my mind,
what is it you really want?
I'm back and forth along this course,
past decisions haunt.
So often unwise,
so foolish and young.
Yet within such short years,
time can seem so long.

O, my mind,
this moment much reveals;
can patience ease uncertainty?
Does honesty heal?
In some ways I know the answers,
in others, forever blind.
I guess I'll forge ahead this path,
and leave them all behind.

Love Amidst the Blaze

(Written Saturday, October 15, 2011. Hey, radicals need love too.)

Oh, where are you?

You know of whom I speak.

How far are you

away from my silent sleep?

I only know you through shades of grey

and shadows within my mind.

I awake to teary stains

and resignation's sigh.

Why do you

haunt my only escape?

Is it true

that dreams have truths to make?

'Cause I could have sworn my heart was right

when it decided to give up the wait.

And now it seems like the other side

is where it wants to stay.

There's miles and miles

of hopeless ground

that we all have to chase.

Could you please

escape my dreams

and join me in the blaze?

There's powers strong

but we're reborn

when we die to yesterday.

We could dance at night

after the fight

and paint each other's way.

Oh, where are you?

They separate our lives

invisible

imaginary lines.

But mind is free even when asleep

and we meet face to face.

They want retreat and silent speech

but we'll love amidst the blaze.

We'll free entire days

to live in joyous ways.

Oh, we'll love amidst the blaze.

Tinted

(Note: a poem written Wednesday, July 13, 2011. Kind of reads like a song because I was listening to "Over My Head" by Christopher Dallman at the time. In a way I think I may have been alluding to my own tendency to hide certain aspects of myself, even though I'm a fairly open person.)

Open up,

I know you’re in there.

You’ve had it rough,

but trust me, I’ve been there.

You’ve given up,

and blocked all of your light.

But from what little of you I can see,

there’s still so much fight inside.

Are you sure you have no more to share?

I know you thought love would play fair.

Hello to

whoever you want to be.

Nice to meet

however much you let me see.

Beautiful day

to open up and care again.

Don’t you think?

Take a deep breath again.

Trust me, I know that it’s not about me,

but I want to be good for whatever you want to be.

Hiding,

covered,

I still see you.

Yearning,

wonder

what can reach you.

Soul is

tinted,

hard to see you.

Soften,

give in.

Let love free you…

There you are,

so nice to finally meet you.

Let the light continue to heal you.

Open up,

I know you’re in there.

You’ve given up,

but trust me, I’ve been there.

You’ve had enough,

and turned off your care.

But love abides,

it knows you’re still in there.

It knows you have more to share.

It lays all your ghosts to bare.

When you’re ready,

I’ll be here.

Slow and steady,

have no fear.

Head to the sky,

heart in your hand.

And if you have to stop along the way,

I understand.

Open up if you can,

and start to love again.

Half asleep at the wheel...

On this side of life, nothing's ever clear. Hopes and dreams are conceived, fantasized and pursued with reckless abandon, or they are left to rot under a heap of sloth and torpor. Ideas whiz by in rapid succession but are no match for insecurity. Companionship is longed for, but oftentimes under-appreciated. Even the most cherished parts of the whole are somehow misused, setting back what promised progress.

And yet, even when being human gets the best of me, I still manage to salvage genuine effort. Love is found and lost and missed and found again. Ambition never leaves, though it may take a different form. Simple lessons are learned the hard way; some mistakes are needed, others completely unnecessary. All help.

Mindfulness recognizes this whole mass of a journey. It draws eyes inward; it colors the outward. It sees what is and is not. It puts ink to paper.

This blog is a collection of my personal poems, written while on this road called life. There are no pit stops on this journey, no time-outs. One must be reflective while ever pressing forward, sure not to miss the few moments of downtime allotted to slow down and observe. Both the driver and a passenger, watching while doing. It's a delicate balance, and hopefully these lines and verses offer some insight into a common experience.

Read and critique. Love and hate. All feedback is appreciated.